recent thinking is wondering about my wish lists this year...i dont know why, but my mind just starts to go round and round the matter. well, my wish list is simple...a simple 520 celebration with the necessary stuffs on it...a jersey from friends going UK soon, hehe...well of course a healthy mind and body and good carrer and thoughts...
yesterday, out of my sudden, i experienced my chest pain in the middle of the night, particularly around 1am, just when i finish touching my notes for the today test and was about to go bed...it last quite sometime before it backs to normal again and only then i can have my sleep...im quite of afraid at that time, started to think lots of things, alottt...this is my first time experiencing chest pain, and indeed it is pain...i guess i should tune myself back to normal lifestyle again, acknowledging that the current lifestyle isnt that good...
blogging up soon with other events...
i have myself some self-tests recently and it is kinda true in some aspects...the first from the facebook and the second is provided by my housemate...
Dear Lee Chin Wey, below are your Personality Tests result:
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth
People like you because you are so straightforward
You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both si
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
You like serious
Smart
Determined people
You don't judge a book by its cover
So good-looking people aren't necessarily your style
This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether y
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex
In many ways people find your straightforward
ness attractive
So you will find yourself with plenty of dates
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life
You want to study hard
Learn as much as you can
The right job for you:
You're a practical person
Will choose a secure job with a steady income
Knowing what you like to do is important
Find a regular job doing just that
You'll be set for life
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career
Nothing will stop you from trying
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control
Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel
呜莎男
性格：重情义的大哥型
[呜莎]型的男人，凡事以印象、直觉作为基准，再加上自己的理解，作为行动准则。不为旁人所左右，确实地按照自己的步调行事。
虽然表面一副冷库，、粗鲁的样子，实则很重感情，一旦信任一个人，便为他赴汤蹈火在所不辞。即使故作老练世故，其实却拥有一颗纯真的心。凡事尽心尽力坚持到底的[呜莎]男，也常常成为同性所依赖、仰慕的大哥。
另一方面，由于对人的好恶仅凭一时的印象，所以有时对人会很严厉，遇到不懂规矩的无礼之徒，便毫不留情地教训他；或是一旦讨厌一个人，就不愿与他来往。此外，常常受到既有印象的束缚，自己无法立即修正，因而让人觉得冥顽不灵。好奇心旺盛，是个爱做梦的浪漫主义者。喜欢尝试各种事物，但因受到左脑的理性抑制，不会莽撞行事，保持万分谨慎的稳健作风。虽然不会一败涂地，但有时候会感到自己魄力不足，陷入进退维谷的窘境。
在饮酒等聚会上，[呜莎]男能迅速掌握现场气氛，很有技巧地带动大家，让场面更加热闹。与人对话也很在行，想必十分受到大家的喜爱。
工作：行侠仗义的首领人物
工作是生命的全部！以此为座右铭的他，总是怀抱理想，为了得到自己认可的结果而竭尽所能，是个拼命三郎。
会把和自己关系好的对象拉拢到身边，成为当中的领导者，善于灵活运用交际手腕。
有幸遇到值得尊敬的工作伙伴时，便会发挥无穷的潜能。相反地，若是单枪匹马，或与共事的伙伴和不来的话，就会累积很大的压力。对于负责经营和企划的工作得心应手，但似乎不擅长处理遵照指令的例行性事务。
金钱：收放自如的随心所欲派
由于同时具有以能力来评断他人的严酷面和情义相挺得温情面，因此常令人感到困惑不解。获得他人认同，是令[呜莎]男最有成就感的事，所以，此类型的人应该不是和成果不易显现的工作吧。
由于基本上有份工作，有收入进账，想要花钱时懂得妥善调配，该花就花，该省则省。
虽说不会冒险投资，但也不喜欢缩衣节食的计划性储蓄，所以开支或许不少。手头宽裕时，便大方请客、马上投资前景看好的股票；阮囊羞涩时，也很懂得自我节制、找人买单。属于就算钱包里只有50元也能过一天的类型。人品不会因为有钱或没钱而改变。
对于金钱的嗅觉很敏锐，所以一旦发现投资理财的机会，便能稳扎稳打地获利。从来不会去赌博。
恋爱：凭感觉闯江湖的一飞冲天型
[呜莎]型的男人不考虑地位、条件，处于本能地坠入情网，是个爱情至上主义者。正因为如此，他也强烈地渴望“被人爱”、“受人欢迎”。只不过他一开始会暂时不动声色，先在心里仔细推敲作战计划，因此也有精于算计的一面。
随着对象的不同，他时而故意表现的冷淡，时而给人意外的惊喜，借以凸显自己的存在感。对方如果有反应，便一鼓作气乘胜追击。明明热情澎湃，但绝对不打没有把握的仗，因此恋爱成功的几率可说是很高。
一旦交往，便会为对方付出一切取悦她，或相反地依赖她，爱得很深。因此，对女友的要求也多，只要有些微的龃龉，便表露出压抑已久的猜测、嫉妒，恋情很可能就如反掌般迅速冷却。
只不过，[呜莎]男原本即是没有爱情便活不下去的人，对女友的迷恋也深，因此分手之后想必仍念念不忘吧？尤其是被女友甩得时候，受创更是巨大。
对于性爱，虽然想忠于自己的本能追求肉体的快乐，但相对于性行为本身，他更重视做爱得过程。意思就是说，[呜莎]男称得上是甜言蜜语的高手。专心一意地在床上营造甜蜜淫乱的气氛。
如果结了婚，虽然不求家人间的感情很亲密，但把家庭看作自己的城堡，因此会好好守护着它。
what do you think about the self-test that i have made? are they reflecting to myself?
it was the day 29th of the lunar calendar, 2 days before the chinese new year ahead...packing my clothes and stuffs to be brought back, awaiting my cousin sister to fetch me to puchong to meet up with my cousin brother to back teluk intan together on the next day...fetching me at 3pm, we were chit chatting in the car in the midst of traffic congestion...oh my! finally after some miscommunication with her, i finally realised that my another cousin sister is going deliver soon!
after unload our stuffs from the car, we straight ahead to UMMC to meet up with my cousin brother in-law, awaiting in the hospital since 10am...reaching there around 5pm, my cousin sister still hasnt out from the ward...about 6.30pm, we went to secret recipe in the hospital to have our dinner since we couldnt do anything there other than wait...
taking my camera phone out, i started to snap around the hospital to pass my boredom...my in-law started to freak me, telling i might snapping something cannot be seen with raw eyes! however, he do pull out his SLR, doing the same...haha...
there is a father-to-be, fall asleep after waiting alone outside the ward...probably due to fatigue that he has after work...the hospital policy doesnt allow the husband to company the wife in the maternity ward. after sometime, the doctor awakes him, telling him to find some medical pills of his wife...but after throwing all the stuffs in the bags out, he has to drive back to collect from his home late in the night for the doctor...poor him...
snapping some pictures, i saw a bottle of disincfection liquid hung on the wall, used for the hospital staffs to clean their hands before going into the ward...well, being too bored, i started to clean my hands as well...thinking that my hands too contaminated after snapping pictures...hehe...
a suggestion box belong to the hospital was hung right beside the elevator but it was empty...
smoking prohibition notice was pasted on the wall outside the ward...hmm...but it almost drop soon...
simply pictures are just too many captured in the 6 hours time waiting...but before that, 2 reading materials accompanied me to pass the time...the daily and technical magazine...
around 12 something in the morning, the doctor suggest to conduct cesarean on the baby as it was too long...about 1am, the baby safely delivered but i was asleep when the nurse carry the baby out! i miss that! too tired...i managed to just view the picture of him only...
it was a newly experience for me, a lesson for me to be a father in the future! my baby nephew is given the name jen kin, and welcome him to the world! everything was settle around 1.30am and we reached home about 2.30am...another 4 hours i have to wake up, packing to ready back teluk intan celebrating lunar year!
这几天的我真在想很多事情。。。写的部落格都是很感性。面对大众的我越来越难开口。。。不知道那根脑精坏了。。。开学的第三天已经写了三篇文章。。。还是全部都是华语的。。。第三天，总是觉得想把目前的学业快快念完。总是把一年半的时间看得好象很快就回来令。 我的梦想，我的理想，去那呢？我还会继续奋斗吗？原来人在成长的时，感觉是会变的。理智是会变的。
就好像所写的，在这里，我就是我，不必伪装。有很多是想说出口。就是卡在喉咙，害怕。老是觉得不要说是最好的选择。在电话聊天越来越不会找话题聊。刚刚跟家人聊都会安静了很久。以前都不会这样。。。
李敬威。。。开学了。。。乐观点。。。不该想的事情，不要再去想了。。。一定要在挫折中学习，不要一直在错下去。一次教训足够了。。。
今早我见到一个女生朋友，我告诉她我的部落格已经update了。 她就问我为什么写华语呢？毕竟我的华语不是那么好。我却回她说有时候表达一些感性的故事时候，英文好像不是我的选择。我总是觉得写华语的文章能表达我目前在内心说的东西。。。
第二天开学。总觉得好像发了一场梦刚刚醒过来。一切都还没回到轨道上。三个月的时间真的令人感觉与众不同。我越来越不了解我自己。我的人为跟以前都不太一样。 我越来越不理外面的世界，身边的人。开学两天了，许多人问我周边的朋友发生的事情。目前对我而言，去年发生在我周边朋友的事感觉好像刚刚发生那样。很新鲜。。。以前的我，见到不对的事情就会说，就会反抗。我感觉到，我也曾经做过，三思很多事情才决定要不要说出来。人总是会成长的，但这个改变会好吗？
十二点了。还有一个小时才到我的课。一个人坐在电脑室写部落格，脑海里会浮现很多幸福的时光。在学院，小时候，在实习的三个月，在家里，在国民服务，和目前住的地方。。。那些都是我的幸福时光。。。虽然实习和国民服务的日子难熬，但在熬的当中我得到幸福，知讯，朋友。。。虽然那些朋友都不能长久。。。都已经过去了，过去了。。。往事只能回味。。。
在家靠父母，出外靠朋友。。。我不知道这句成语还能用多久。当每一个人都渐渐在成长的时候，每个人都会有自己的人生，自己的理想，自己的家庭，自己的幸福。不再是一群人走，反而是一对一对人走。放假所发生的事情渐渐的在我心里画上另一个人生阶段。我成人了。不再是少年。不再是小孩。该有我的自己的人生。不可以每次都依赖别人，父母，哥姐。他们有他们的生活，有人值得比我去关心。。。那我呢？就活在自己的世界里面吧。。。
十二点半了。昨天有个人告诉我，叫我找人陪伴我。我心里知道。我不能利用人。我不能因为这样就找人。虽然是有一股冲动的谈恋爱，但我理智的想，我并什么跟人家谈恋爱？我有什么？没有。想了在想，我看还是不要开始吧。虽然这个年纪真的是有点晚了，但没办法。我没有东西值得去被爱。姨丈也说过是时候了可以开始一段恋情了。。。
十二点四十五，上课咯。。。不要在想有的没的事情咯。。。
最近都好像活在过去的时光。。。每次都在想当时的情景。这就是所谓的幸福吗？我已经好几天都在看这首歌的歌词，想从这首歌里找出我要的答案。。。但却被这首歌的意识关在当时的情景。。。
每次出发最喜欢坐靠窗，想著未来看著远方
现实和想像多麽不一样，好奇真相要有胆量
安静的眼泪 滴在楼顶的地上， 加盖的梦能盖在哪
黑暗瞑 落雨声，鸟仔天光犹原会唱歌
想回到那年幸福的时光，口袋里是满满的希望
再难也敢去闯，只因有妳在身旁
风中才不像流浪，携带著那段幸福的时光
平静每个失眠的晚上，紧握一种信仰
不要翅膀要坚强，雪花融在眼里看见火花
虽然我知道我不能回到过去，但我真的希望一切如回以前那样。。。好像找人聊聊。。。
i started to feel strange to myself, nowadays i like to keep everything inside my heart...unwanted to speak it out. will that only happens when i talk to my parents only? or to everyone... i would not know...
is this the transition that everyone would experience? from teenage to adult? im not sure...i never experience this...it feels insecure whenever you heard someone that you dint tell him about that knows it, especially something which is secretive...
i used to share my privacy stuff to people whom i trust...not to name them here...but that is used to...apparently, i dont have the eager to share it to anyone...i dont know why i have such feelings...will i back to my own in the past...self locked?
many things happened last year, to me...beginning of the year was kinda terrible to me, i still feel afraid when i think about that. how am i wish of deleting the year 2009 in my mind...then comes to summit of the year, though going smoothly, but there is still something going wrong here and there...then comes to the second half year, i felt like im in a damn shit! everything getting worsen than before...i lost my phone in a scam, pc spoil, this and that...sigh...i never expecting myself will fall into a scam. i always heard all the stories from friends, beware this and that...i have fully alert of the environment enough...fine, i dont really want to retrieve back the old stories in '09
though lots of activities i have participated in the end year of '09, but i nearly encounter accidents in some of them...do they still call good? however, in the midst of days getting worsen in the year, im glad and blessed to meet many new friends during training period, no matter they are friends from utar or scm itself...im glad and blessed with that...
beginning of year 2010 will be another challenge for me. im 22 this year, a year older than the previous year. many things i still have doubts on it...my personality, partner of life, future working place-to-be, and lots of stuff...hoping that i can reveal all the doubts and find my direction by this year...
hope i can end the horror time by this moment...
