this is an unfinished blog...a really unfinished blog. i have spent many days writing on this and still the story hasnt finish...many things crossing in my mind nowadays...all those are small matters, but when the small matters bundled up, it becomes a big big for me...what is for me now is how i can get busy with stuffs, and when the stuff finishes, i get tired and sleeps...i hope i can let myself busy and busy...
realising myself with tonnes of characteristic problems, i felt myself like lost of direction...im putting myself now as influenceable person...not myself can influence people, but is anything that comes to me influences my life...whether is right or instead...i have no mindset to reject those which are not right...and out of my sudden, i lost the idea to write about...
the semester has just finished, right before the october comes...though the hardship i went through during the exam month, i was thought i can finally rest myself down and start a new journey...but im not...im still trapped in the dilemma...the dilemma which turns my things all around...i dont know what i still can wish myself now...because i know its never going to be realised...
few days back, i went somewhere to look for stuffs and i saw an old lady, squatting down beside the passage outside the mall...she looks pale and her legs seems like in pain...i was alone at that moment and afraid to approach her for a hand...my intuition seems telling me that this might be a new kind of scam...manipulating the elderly to trap the victims...the society teach me this, should i blame it? but she might not and she needs help deadly, i felt miserable when i be ignorant...but when i return, she was no longer there. guess she had someone who is kind and naive to help her...how if in future when similar situation happens again? should i still be that kind enough like last to give a hand?
one day during my semester break, my mum approached me with a surprise question that she never ask me before...do you have girlfriend? that was after i told my younger cousin sister has attached without our notice...i was thinking and talked to myself, why i still dont have at this age? am i not qualified to have a one? what is wrong with me? am i too choosy?
this i really a mess up blog, totally messed up...there is no specific topic for myself...i was trying to drive myself to certain place just now, but i lost the direction...i forgot where i should head to...i tried to contact her when she lost connection, but to an avail when no reply after few days...perhaps i will get tired after thinking for sometimes...then i will get better? would it be still haunting me in some other time?
wishing the days ahead will be busy days for me...
