i realised that feeling is there if i were to use the lappie on my lap and start blogging, but not on a desk or anywhere else...well, probably this causes me inconsistently writing blog recently...i used to be writing blog using a desktop in those days, and the mobility of a laptop has urged me to use it more often now...
days are passing by without a comma or a full stop. it just went through without your notice and concern. and now it's already the end of the november month. winter starts to pour and soon spring starts to bloom. happenings and happenings are started to take in place to fill up the gap between the previous and the present blog.
lots of shout outs in my heart, awaiting a good listener to hear about it...but all of them aren't incomplete in pieces...i'm trying to shout out through my throat, but there aren't any single voice coming out from it. probably with the alcohol's help might me to shout aloud, hahaha...
realising the number of words coming out from my mouth is getting lesser and lesser, my mind start to become lazy to think of what to speak and what should do, but rather to ask me be alone and listen, or stay at home and sleep. am i able to get socialized in this way? hoping there's a positive change on this...
it is late in the midnight, lying on my sweet bed am i writing on this...there's a intention of writing blog late in the midnight. i felt like myself still in the student life, stay late in the night, make myself a cup of hot nescafe, playing music from my desktop, and writes the blog, accompanied by the breezing wind blowing outside the door pane and the voices of my housemates. well, i hardly can find this moments again, especially when i start to work. the time wouldnt be as flexible as i could, dont say about staying late at nite to enjoy the breezing wind, hahahaha...today was somehow special as i stay very late in the midnight, thanks to the Mc Donald's coffee that i drank for supper...
time flies like the wind, a flick of my eyes flies 3 months of my time, ever since i wrote my last post in this blog. and not to admit that tonnes of happening happened in my life, not the minor, but is the major. i felt blessed and gifted for all the things happened. started my working life in a new place is hard, i have my hard time to find some convenience in my life, even for a single simple grocery i had to use GPS to guide me there. i remember once i felt sore throat when i woke up for work and intended to find HALLS candy to chill my throat. I left my house earlier than usual and started to look for the nearest 24-hours convenience store, and this required myself to switch on my GPS device on my mobile to look for that. though i found it, i felt myself silly as there's one just below my working place and i have to search and drive long long way for that. till now im still not used to it yet and still working on it...
working life brought my vision to a broader and newer views. i get the golden opportunity to go United States and learned the culture there for several weeks, i get to learn many new technologies and new ideas in work, i get to understand more human perspective, values, and many that i have not known before this. it was a not to miss opportunity and i felt blessed for that...
this is the 4th month ever since i started to work, everything is still a learning for me...work, life...everyday is a lesson for me, to become a better person of me. the friday of next week will be my convocation day, the auspicious day for me. im going to wear the convocation gown, the mortar board, receiving my scroll, and get to meet with my friends again...
click, again i appear myself on my dashboard, writing down my blog again...there are lots of stuffs to be written down, of what has happen to me in recent days...well i have things to write, but couldnt think of how to start, haha...
well, recap what has happen in the past months...hohoho, i have the mood to recap everything that has happened. days after the chinese new year, months spent on the final year project. well, luckily it ends with a good results though is not the best...throughout the days working on the project, worries and worries have been solved, well thanks to him for that. in the meantime as well, outings also happening and i gain alot weight too, now has a tummy which is kinda obvious, haha...
its the end of my degree studies, i officially graduated from the university ever since the results has revealed. now is the next chapter of my life, im heading towards another new place again, penang...and this time is long stay there, for working. everything comes in so sudden, last year was the trip to penang for holiday and looking around the environment, but today im going upwards to work...im still digesting them...going to a place for long stay that i have not known is somehow difficult to me, it is exactly like what i have experienced when i started my life 5 years back in kl...everything has to be from beginning, and now i miss kl life. i have adapted to the life and now i have to start again...i miss it but i have to face the reality. im working now and this job offers better to me...i appreciate for the gift and attempt to the penang life...
thinking the days back made me see some of bad human characteristics from people around me, from hatred, jealousy to sarcastic. you would never know what is their next step of action to be taken, you would never know if they have back-stabbing you. you will never know whether they take you for granted, you will never know if they have manipulate you. such a person that you need to consider so many things is worth to interact with? where you need to take many preventive manners before you interact? why human cant just be as simple as you feel comfort when you interact with, you feel that you are reliable, dependable, and others that you are worth to be interacted? why making use of people is happen? is this is the reality of life, or it is just some people manners'? i have no idea at all...sometimes i feel that im dumb for being used up, or is it just single party's perception?
doubts and doubts piled up...i have no idea how it will be solved...it may be the unsolved doubts, the doubts that couldnt be solved...
there's thing you want to make it clear, but somehow they dont want to clear it, there's things that you dont want to make them clear, but people always wanting you to make it clear. these make me sometimes feel better if being alone...im like tired of chasing something, chasing something that now somehow become a phobia to me...
there's things to be written, but i dont know how to express them at the moment...there's so many things in mind, my mind messed up...
i couldnt describe the feeling of i am now, it is totally mixed up, happy, sad, joy, anger, etc...there's so so many things happen around me, sometimes i feel like want to find someone to talk to, but there's no one. i wanna find someone to share, but there's no one...
i couldnt count how many things happen since the last blog post, i couldnt count how many laughs, smiles, anger, frustrations, tears, sadness and many feelings i have endured ever since the last post. everythings seems like attempting to figure out myself and people around me how good is the temper...there's always the inputs but no output...i wanna try to reveal the current feeling out but to avail, not wanting them to worry about...there's always no way i can help, however when the situation happens, and you somehow accidentally, unwillingly ter-involved, i will think and worry how would be the next seconds of time...
i wish there's someone i can talk and share to at the moment...it wouldnt be finish writing the blog for the past months in one night...endless of happenings
when...it gives various meanings. it can be asking for the specific time, it can also be a "what if" statement...
enquire for specific time doesnt seems trouble for me, but a "what if" "when" does a trouble for me...though dislike it, but i encountered it...still i have no idea on the solution...perhaps i shall say i have zero control on it...the authority is not with me. once decide on any choices given, it definitely gives an unwell feeling to the other choice. and at this time, i have to decide which is more important to me...im kinda have the feeling of escaping from making a stand from the choices, but in my heart, still i wanna face it as it is the place where i born...everytime i dont hope to see it, it still happens annually...i have no idea on how to solve it. when questioned, im kinda numb and dumb, unknown of what to say, im speechless...
to me, i have really zero idea on it...
the new year holiday gonna end soon for me, gotta get back to the track to finish up my project and follow up my studies again...gotta hard work soon after this...hoping the progress gonna be smooth and steady...not to forget greatest appreciation to him for working together to achieve it...
day two of the new year, the day i spend most of the time at home during the new year, as there will be a dinner to celebrate my grandma's birthday later. these two days has been tiring days, my afternoon time becomes my nap time...probably there's nothing for me to do except gambling, hahaha...
this new year bring significant meaning for me...things that i have worried about has found its way out. i was afraid for this spring festival to arrive, there's something overwhelmed me for sometime, and finally it has its own solution at the end...perhaps i have been worrying for this too much, as i felt relieved alot when i acknowledged that the matter has been solved...i feel like the spring do really come now...
the arrival of spring also bring some changes to me as well, physically and mentally...putting myself to attempt wearing necklace and ring are something extraordinary for me as all the while i have just wearing religion bracelet. months back my friend helped me bought a purple crystal bracelet from kedah and that is my accessories at that time...now i have attempted to use necklace and ring as part of my accessories and the result seems good for me. at least i have some changes in physically...apart, i dyed my hair into the colour that i have never attempt before, red! initially kinda afraid of the redness of the colourant as it stated is rose colour, however the result is more to maroon colour and i kinda like this colour too...something that is new to me as well...on the other side, the spring arrival too brings me something different on the soul part...something different...
things should be getting different now...i have to plan the next stage of my life...but i dont have any for now...what should i do? i cant plan nor for anything now, unfinished job still in my hand...problems still wandering around me...i have to think of a time to clear my mind and think where should i go for the next stage of my life...
happy rabbit year to all... may the new year bring lucks and happiness throughout the year... ^^
minutes to go before the end of the year of tiger, according to the lunar calendar, and i grab these moments to blog the happenings in this year...till the last day before i back to hometown for spring holiday, im still busy with the project stuff. though there is some progress, but there are still more and more to go...wanted to discuss about it after i back hometown, but it seems like nobody wants to talk about it during this time...well, i just leave it till see how...somehow is out of my control...i dont want mention much about it now...ideas and thoughts sometimes come across into my mind and i wanted to share with someone before i forget or lost it...
along the progress in my project, some final year students too company us in the laboratory to complete their own projects...
kinda been long time i have not back to my hometown, and following my mum to wet market to buy groceries is something i have not done long time...because the time is too early for me to wake up from the bed...hahaha...and this time have to squeeze with many people as they also rush to fill up their stock for the new year in such early in the morning...
may the year of rabbit will bring prosperous and good luck all the year to me...
reviewing the previous update, i just realised that i have no touching the blog for more than a month...well, is it being not much comment about my current life, thats is why i have no idea to blog the content? is this sign of satisfaction in the life? or i have see through many things in life, take those as nothing?
is the midnight of the 24th day in year 2011...and i have been non-stop working on with my project ever since last year, day after the examination. guess all the time are spent on the project makes my life goes smooth without has the time to think of other things. i have no worries to call a day every night as the fatigue is there. it gives a satisfaction in my life, indeed...
till today, the project hasnt call the end...still long way to go. every single part of it is new to me and my teammate, we have to start from zero to learn it, trying out, and applying it into our project and this makes the progress very slow. anyhow, i am very appreciate for my teammate support and help, without his support, i couldnt handle everything in such a way like what it is now. his photo is captured during the simulation partial of the project for review purposes...
collection of pictures started since november, where group of friends celebrated the born day of kelvin at seoul garden, 1 utama... and rushing at night to bandar utama for my friends gathering at fullhouse who are just back from their UK study...and both events had lots of talking and sharing inside...
my first time become helper in an event company! time out solutions event at melacca with kelvin...it was a great job where i can travel, eat, fun, and visit for free in the midst of working! day started at 8am where i started travel from petaling jaya to melacca, round the melacca town in the day time, spend the dusk at ayer keroh and reaching back home at midnight...thanks to my friend who introduce such a great job to me...hope to have such job again...
the deepavali day was extraordinary in year 2010 as i have the chance to visit and enjoy the delicacies in arminder house at semenyih! lots of fun and chat around his house...
gathering with my training friends at chilies, 1 utama to celebrate the christmas joy! we had the gift exchange, sharing, and travel to cheras to hang out with ike till late midnight!
a christmas gathering with my coursemates at kepong D' Fortune. initial plan of watching meet the little fockers was canceled due to no more seating in 1utama. the day ended up with hang around the mall before going to kepong to have dinner. the night continued with present exchange at coffee bean, desa parkcity...
christmas day was fun! my mum and sis came to kl to find me shopping! we off the house early in the morning, dim-sum breakfast at jalan ipoh, shopped at petaling street and times square, late lunch at BBQ plaza, enjoy the christmas spirits at bukit bintang, and dinner at murni SS2...it was fun as we have no shop together for quite sometime...
ken wee birthday right after the christmas! and this time managed to watch the little fockers at 1utama! simple dinner at nando's and dessert plus cake blowing at sunway giza...
the new year eve was something special as i was in dark at that time. went to movida, sunway giza with friends without drunk! but actually started to crap abnormally till we have a tea at SS2 kayu to wake ourselves up...hahaha...
and to welcome the spring, bunch of friends picked kikyo at puchong, japanese buffet style with reasonable price to celebrate it...well, there are more outings during festivals which dont have the photo captured, but still there is fun in it...and these are the gatherings in the mid of working out the project...kinda alot, hahaha...
its been long time i have not back to my hometown, hoping this spring break will have a nice break there...and charging up myself to face the days ahead!
