click, again i appear myself on my dashboard, writing down my blog again...there are lots of stuffs to be written down, of what has happen to me in recent days...well i have things to write, but couldnt think of how to start, haha...
well, recap what has happen in the past months...hohoho, i have the mood to recap everything that has happened. days after the chinese new year, months spent on the final year project. well, luckily it ends with a good results though is not the best...throughout the days working on the project, worries and worries have been solved, well thanks to him for that. in the meantime as well, outings also happening and i gain alot weight too, now has a tummy which is kinda obvious, haha...
its the end of my degree studies, i officially graduated from the university ever since the results has revealed. now is the next chapter of my life, im heading towards another new place again, penang...and this time is long stay there, for working. everything comes in so sudden, last year was the trip to penang for holiday and looking around the environment, but today im going upwards to work...im still digesting them...going to a place for long stay that i have not known is somehow difficult to me, it is exactly like what i have experienced when i started my life 5 years back in kl...everything has to be from beginning, and now i miss kl life. i have adapted to the life and now i have to start again...i miss it but i have to face the reality. im working now and this job offers better to me...i appreciate for the gift and attempt to the penang life...
thinking the days back made me see some of bad human characteristics from people around me, from hatred, jealousy to sarcastic. you would never know what is their next step of action to be taken, you would never know if they have back-stabbing you. you will never know whether they take you for granted, you will never know if they have manipulate you. such a person that you need to consider so many things is worth to interact with? where you need to take many preventive manners before you interact? why human cant just be as simple as you feel comfort when you interact with, you feel that you are reliable, dependable, and others that you are worth to be interacted? why making use of people is happen? is this is the reality of life, or it is just some people manners'? i have no idea at all...sometimes i feel that im dumb for being used up, or is it just single party's perception?
doubts and doubts piled up...i have no idea how it will be solved...it may be the unsolved doubts, the doubts that couldnt be solved...
there's thing you want to make it clear, but somehow they dont want to clear it, there's things that you dont want to make them clear, but people always wanting you to make it clear. these make me sometimes feel better if being alone...im like tired of chasing something, chasing something that now somehow become a phobia to me...
there's things to be written, but i dont know how to express them at the moment...there's so many things in mind, my mind messed up...
i couldnt describe the feeling of i am now, it is totally mixed up, happy, sad, joy, anger, etc...there's so so many things happen around me, sometimes i feel like want to find someone to talk to, but there's no one. i wanna find someone to share, but there's no one...
i couldnt count how many things happen since the last blog post, i couldnt count how many laughs, smiles, anger, frustrations, tears, sadness and many feelings i have endured ever since the last post. everythings seems like attempting to figure out myself and people around me how good is the temper...there's always the inputs but no output...i wanna try to reveal the current feeling out but to avail, not wanting them to worry about...there's always no way i can help, however when the situation happens, and you somehow accidentally, unwillingly ter-involved, i will think and worry how would be the next seconds of time...
i wish there's someone i can talk and share to at the moment...it wouldnt be finish writing the blog for the past months in one night...endless of happenings
