Chin Wey ™

after sometime, where you feel that you are comfort with everything that is happening around you, but actually you are not. it just that nobody triggers you for what has happened in the past...until when someone talks about it...where you feel that you are actually lying and shielding yourself from the fact and reality...

i have been self-hypnotized that i will be okay, i will be fine...i can stay strong, tough...well, im unsure. im not too sure i am?

the so called self-proud of what i am now isnt really what i really proud of myself...in fact, i feel im such a failure, or a jerk, or a coward for being contradicting of what i really feel...i just do not be brave enough to speak out, probably of the things i saw, i know, taught me to be extremely careful of any decision made...it's like no take two for me...really?

though people are telling me that it's doesnt be the final and ultimate of your life, you still can re-choose if you feel unsuitable, but i just cant imagine myself being fallen into the deepest core of the earth, covered myself with tears and the awful look.

i feel that im getting more and more indecisive in my life...afraid of making any judgement...even a simple thing in life...the worst is i dont even want to appreciate the time i have...i just let it flow like the water stream...without knowing what i can do with the wasted time...

i dont know what is the medicine to bring me back to the real of myself...im like started to give up of everything. it's like everything isnt important to me anymore. realizing a supportive element is really important for you to strive and move on in your life...i've regret to let it go...

it's a memorable, yet a waste for me...im trying to call it off...probably with an escape would help more...or the arrival of new element..which the another me now would rebel it...it is a fuss...messed up...