Chin Wey ™

i was attracted to my friend's post recently as he wrote something which is meaningful to me...something that enlightens my mind. i somehow out of my mind agree with what he wrote, as it does reflecting to what i am...some statements in his blog are quoted and posted at the bottom...

Sometimes, it’s not that you want to change for someone else, it’s because you can’t control it. When someone becomes really important to you, every perception about that person changes. Every single details, every single actions, every single words matters.

is love uncontrollable? is this what they always say the power of love? is love with change what you have now? the lifestyle, the habit, the social network, no matter how good you are now? i have seen many couples, they isolate us, the friends and live in their own world...and when they come to the end, they started to mix around back...does this so called selfishness? whenever they need you, they will approach you and dump you when they found their partner of life...i have been experiencing a lot of such situations, where my friends close to me when they are single or return to single and dump me far far away when they change status...is this what a single person need to accept or is not worth to befriend to them? a question arose yesterday during dinner session with my friend, they asked me whether i will do the same way as what i hate the most, and i confidently answered them a big NO...but somehow deep in my heart i asked myself, comparing myself to my friend's post, do i?

Before this you might say that you want full freedom and will give your partner full freedom on things that they want to do. But you wouldn’t exactly be sure of this, until your time comes. By then you will realize that it is easier said than done. Changing into another person that you actually despise is not what a person would want, but as said it’s uncontrollable. You are no longer the same anymore, there is another person there, constantly waiting for you no matter what.

freedom, the aspect that i like the most of i am now...i enjoyed the freedom now, frankly especially after i come to kl to study...i can go out anytime, anywhere, do whatever i like, without informing or care whoever...though i have the freedom, but i dint misuse it, instead i use them wisely, accurately, and responsibly...i wonder how i will be if i am attached...do i still have the freedom? as what i realised, i have to care another feeling, informing her where and what am i doing and so on...is this true? is what the quote said is the truth?

For me, if you asked me this question few years back, “would you die for your loved one”. My answer for sure 101% is a big NO. I would not be stupid enough to do so, my life belongs to me and not others. But now, if you asked me back the same old question, I would be sure enough to answer a YES. Because I could not bear to live alone anymore without the person. If you asked me what will I do if I were to lose the person most important to me, I would answer “I don’t know”. Because what I think of now will be different at that time. I myself will not be sure what I am capable of doing when that time comes.

am i brave to say YES, as what my friend did? i have no idea on this...yes, i admit that i have no idea how to continue my life without the important person with me...i wouldnt know how my future road will be without her...when someone becomes too important to you...she will be the part of your life...your life will be related to her...the feeling is miracle, unique and special...

love is something inevitable from you, it is part of your life...i remembered a statement from someone, human born into this world is assigned with a task, that is to find the half of himself...without the half, the life is not complete...everyone has the task, but can i manage this task well? without affecting what i have now? sacrifices needed? well i guess im too coward to face all these as because of many physical and abstract aspects, i have miss out many opportunities that is in front of me...but i always encourage my friend to go ahead though he might rejected...i told myself all the time, this isnt the right time...the right time is not now...my single life shouldnt be end that early, but recently half of my mind doesnt think so. there's someone in front of me now, but she seems not welcome my present...with cold responses from her. im in dilemma sometimes, when i alone or doing nothing...i tried not to think about it, but when the time goes, it flashes in my mind...