there's urge for me to write a piece of blog recently, as there is a special feeling to be written down as part of my life. however, i just cant find a right time to open a new tab to blogger.com. now this is just is, after couple weeks of procrastinating it, hehe...
i stepped to another country again this year, the Republic of China (RoC) or Taiwan. this round i choose to backpack with my friend, chee kit and i really really enjoyed the time spent in taiwan because of the people, environment and also i experienced again the feeling of zero burden on my shoulder. such a feeling is awesome and i find myself spiritually relaxed from all the worries and concern back in malaysia. i should have organize again trips to places that i can do backpack in future, and will return to taiwan someday. there are lots of places that awaits me to discover there :)
on the same quarter of this year, i did made myself to the southern of malaysia, johor bahru with my university buddies and we made trips to the legoland and also the hello kitty town. it was really fun as it recalls my childhood memories, the joy of playing at the playground and the theme park, the excitement feeling of meeting old friends, and lots more. i get to know them back in 2009, and it is 4 years now. there is a saying that friends are easy to find but true friends are hard to remain, and i believe that. this applies to my college friends who i met recently in one of wedding dinner, and i tried to calculate how long we actually know each other. it turns out that we know for more than 7 years now. oh my god! time really flies. when i only know how to expect the pay day to arrive sooner, i dint realized that the rest of the day are actually passing by like the water tap flowing.
i looked at myself these days, i have climbed out from the well where i have stayed sorrow for almost one year, the time where my tears flows non-stop because of somebody, the time where my life is completely unpredictable, and the time where i have only my body without the soul for most of the time, like the zombie. it is a good sign actually when i find myself okay to discuss things that have happened in the past, but when i have calm for most of the time, things do not turn right. i remember my friend who told me to find girlfriend when he thinks it is not right to talk most of the things to him or other friends, i started to have a perception to keep many things to myself. i started to talk lesser to people about myself, keeping most of my curvy feelings away and only delivering the flat feelings to the outside world. and i think this has caused my communication fluency in all languages are deteriorating now. i realized that i have the reluctant to get to know newbies in the office, as well as in the group of friends. i used to have the passion to know more people, talk with them and get to know their different thoughts of life. but i like to stay alone nowadays, be im at home, office, or anywhere else. there is a thought that comes into my mind yesterday before i went to sleep is what type of birthday celebration that i wish for as there are bunch of my friends celebrating their birthdays on this month. it turned out to be my surprise that i wish that my birthday dinner would not be a lonely dinner. the dinner does not has to be equipped with surprises nor birthday cake. it is just a simple dinner, like any other days in the year. it sounds really really pathetic and in fact when i read it back of what i have wrote a while ago, i sounded dumb, but i think thats what i wish for right now, and i achieved it this year!
okay, i should cut the crap off now. its not that my birthday is going to come soon. more days to be counted before my birthday actually arrives. well, i think i feel i am comfort with myself in this zone of loneliness and i do not sure of how long will i stay here. i hope this wouldnt create any emotional disease that may subsequently causes some mental problem. i do not know of when i can start to express myself again, continues to fall interest to people, and not isolating myself from the community again.
im pretty sure i am okay for now, am i?
