Chin Wey ™

ya...recently kinda emoted...for some reasons probably...the beginning of the semester is not that smooth as i think...i predicted something wrong...out of my expectation...i dint expect things to be happen in this way, i think...

being single, or attached? this is the reason why i change my facebook status, for the very first time...i have no idea whether i should accept the fact that i should enter to another stage, the stage where i should have partner? im too afraid to welcome it, is this because i havent play enough? or too much of single life? in previous, i dont think much about it and make me change my status in facebook, but this time is real...i have to start thinking about it...

talking about feelings, i failed...failed how to control myself. im the type who has many feelings at one time...i dont know how to express it...perhaps due to failures happened to me in the past, makes me no confident to face it...in this case, i somehow want to escape from it, rather than facing it...im such a failure in relationship problem...i dont even know which is the best way of expressing myself to her...im in dilemma, totally...

i guess im still in the childhood, where everyone can be friends...no such complicated relationship, couples, and so on...where everyone can always hang out together, but i realised that im still living in the past...in the childhood...im 22 now, i have to face that i have and must leave that as a memory, is no longer applicable now...what am i doing now is just looking for people to complete my childhood memories, not to complete my life now...ya...childhood memories, indeed is freaking for me and wish to delete them by replacing what i have now...im such a dumb, it is not going to happen...

my mind is full of thoughts now, i need to recondition my feelings now, not to treat too well and think like an adult now...i hope i can put more effort on what i like now, the girl perhaps? i have no comment apparently...the urge is not strong, maybe what am i thinking now still like a kid...but i dont want a short-term relationship, i wish...